Monday, September 3, 2012

A New School Year- Stability Matters

"Marriage Haves and Have-Nots", an article written by W. Bradford Wilcox (director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia) highlights such facts as : "In the nation's affluent and educated precincts...the future of marriage is bright.  After succumbing temporarily to the marital tumult of the 1970's, college-educated Americans have been getting their marital act together in recent years... divorce is down, infidelity is down...and the vast majority of children are fortunate to grow up with both their mother and father...But in poor and working-class communities...the future of marriage is bleak...For the majority of Americans who do not hold college degrees, divorce rates remain high, infidelity is up, nonmarital childbearing is way up...The privileged reap the benefits of stable marriages, whereas poor and ordinary families are burdened by growing instability and conflict in their lives."

So it is a new school year and where and how can we start to stabilize an instable environment?  We can start by bringing back the family dinnertime.  Many years ago, Reader's Digest did a study on Rhode Scholars- what was the determining factor in these students excelling?  No, it was not whether they had two vs. one parent, female vs. male etc.  The one common thread among Rhode Scholars was they regularly ate dinner with their family.  I was sharing this fact with a recent college graduate in my company's marketing department.  She said that was absolutely true.  She was a Rhode Scholar and her family always ate dinner together.

Studies show that eating 4 or more meals together/week leads to better grades, better health and less risky behavior.  It is a time for parent/parents and children to celebrate the day, discuss the trials and successes, and a time just to enjoy each other.  We are human beings- not animals or cars- and mealtime is so much more than just filling our stomach or tank.  What if the privileged were the families who despite all challenges regularly had dinnertime together?  What would result from more stability and   less conflict in their lives?  What if dinnertime was celebrated and lifted up as a status symbol in America?  What obesity, fitness, and educational barriers could be broken?  It is a new year full of new possibilities!