Reformation of Manners

"God has set before me two great objects: the suppression of the Slave Trade and the reformation of manners." The words of William Wilberforce, 1787. Today in the Richmond Times Dispatch, Lillie Estes, a community strategist, writes "A treatise on why poverty has not been eliminated." She states, "Poverty exists because opportunities are missed or denied. When opportunities are missed,it usually happens because of individual shortcomings and/or failures...Today's economy affords us the opportunity to re-do our strategy, especially when seeking to build new communities or tranform old ones. At the foundation of that process is education. Tied intrinsically to all of that are our values, our standards, our culture, our housing and our economy... education is the new global currency... The most important thing that we can do going forward is NOT to continue to make the same mistakes of the past. We must commit sincerely to hear and listen to all voices in the room...We can do this, Richmond region. All we need is the relevant experience in the room." Lillie, I could not agree with you more. History shows us the way. Wilberforce worked from 1787-1833 when England abolished slavery within 3 days of his death. He realized that to end slavery -moral, political and religious reform was necessary. The decay of both public and private virtue in England laid the groundwork to the American Revolution and the need for Patrick Henry, here at St. Johns Church to proclaim "Give me Liberty or give me Death." Eric Metaxas stated: "What Wilberforce vanquished was something even worse than slavery...He vanquished the very mind-set that made slavery acceptable and allowed it to survive and thrive for millennia." The original Webster's dictionary defines manners-behavior;conduct;course of life;in a moral sense. Wilberforce used manners to encourage social conscience. Good manners therefore bring the virtues of charity and civility. So let's have a change of mind-set and manners right here in Richmond. Business leaders, politicians, lawyers, bankers and families- how can any ills in society be addressed when we don't sit down to the dinner table and reflect on the day? More to come. And Lillie, I hope to have the opportunity to meet you.

Be Determined and Straight-Forward

The last 6 months I had gotten out of the one-day-a week 5:30am tennis habit. For two years, I had played mixed tennis @ 5:30- 7am every Weds. and since Tues. is mynight2cook, I headed into work having two check marks DONE! I was so pumped up and on such a roll- I felt nothing was too hard for me to accomplish. The last 6 months, no one took the reins and got us organized. Late yesterday, I got a call that Keith was starting up a new Monday 5:30am tennis challenge. I signed up, showed up and he laid out the rules this morning- be there or get a sub/ 5 minute warm up/play 9 games with each partner(he assigns) for a total of 27/ pay $8 for prizes. It's a tennis boot camp and if you oops on the alarm clock, Keith will let you know his displeasure. I had missed this aspect of my week these last 6 months but none of us could get it together like Keith. I am so glad to have this spark of fun back in my life. To get a cooking co-op going to save money and free up time for excercise, be determined and get your group up and running now. Be straight forward on meals that work and those that do not. Right now, my group is cooking light on the calories. I owe Keith a dinner and a big thank you.

Happy Meals-Tips from Living on the Edge

I listened this week to "How to Raise Positive Kids in a Negative World" by Chip Ingram who has a broadcast ministry,Living on the Edge. I found out that 40% of meals sold at McDonald's are "Happy Meals." O.K.- so we are looking for more than fuel to feed us. Chip talked about ways to bond with kids(and I might add spouses). Scheduled time is vital. Men especially need to write down Monday breakfast with family then Mon.-Weds.- Friday 6:00 pm family dinner. That way they can truthfully say I already have a meeting at that time- what about Tues? Chip stressed the importance of eating dinner together! At a family meal (Happy Meal?), you are giving your children and spouse focused attention. Turn off the TV and while eating, listen to each other, give eye contact, follow up with questions. Chip calls that "...putting money in the relational bank." Then #1 on Chip's list to develope communication with your family is eating dinner together. What are you modeling? It's more important to have those 4 or more family meals a week than sports practices etc. Let your kids and spouses know- we eat as a family and this is what matters most. "You find out more about a man by listening to his conversation than by looking at a house he has built."- C.S. Lewis.

"The Magic of the Family Meal"

Here is a must read article form Time Magazine by Nancy Gibbs to get your year off on the right footing. "...there is something about a shared meal--not some holiday blowout, not once in a while but regularly, reliably-that anchors a family even on nights when the food is fast and the talk is cheap and everyone has someplace they'd rather be. And on those evenings when the mood is right and the family lingers, caught up in an idea or an argument explored in a shared safe place where no one is stupid or shy or ashamed, you get a glimpse of the power of this habit and why social scientists say such communion acts as a kind of vaccine, protecting kids from all manner of harm." Robin Fox, an anthropologist at Rutgers University talked about "the mysterious way that family dinner engraves our souls. A meal is about civilizing children. It's about teaching them to be a member of their culture." The benefits of 4 or more family meals/week are well documented. If this has been a desire of your heart but you just can't execute, try cooking co-op by roping in 3 more families. Try it for one month and see what magic family meals can bring to your soul. It only gets better with practice.

Make It A Cooking Co-Op New Year

Two thoughts here at the end of the year. For my Christmas Day meal, I used new recipes from 2 of my fellow co-opper's and made full throttle lasagna and vegetarian lasagna. It took time to assemble all the pieces but it was so worth it. The real joy was sitting around a candlelit dining room table enjoying my family with conversation and laughs. Desert was special as we also celebrated my 2nd daughter's 21st birthday! Keep the joy of celebration, candlelight, and conversation going throughout the year with family meals- cooking co-op can help get those meals on the table. At church yesterday, a single mom shared how excited she was to at age 27 have made her first pie- so proud she put a picture of her pie on her face book. As we begin a new year, my resolve is to continue to encourage and help unlock the how to's of planning and cooking meals. Many in our midst have not learned the joys of cooking. So let's band together, teach cooking classes in our neighborhood, offices, churches to create a better community. And cooking co-op is one way to put spurs on a New Year's Resolution to have less stress and save money by eating dinner in your own home. Write down this goal- make it happen!

A Christmas Story

Right here in Mechanicsville, VA read about this Christmas miracle: richmondtimesdispatch/news/columist/Dec.18 written by Bill Lohmann whom I got to know as he came to my home to do the article in February on my years in a cooking co-op. Read the entire story of 300-400 people all coming together in 1 week for a grass-roots extreme makeover while 10-year-old Alyssa Doane(who has cystic fibrosis) and her family were sent to Disney World in Florida by the Make-A-Wish Foundation. This is a must read! As we drove home last night at 1 am from Dulles airport bringing back our daughter who has been studying in Scotland for almost 4 months, she shared with us how people in a" socialist "country are not very giving- they don't give tips and don't seem concerned for the welfare of others. This Christmas story highlights a family saddled with large medical bills and yet the community cares enough to give this family a "new" home and a block party upon their return with police directing traffic of the 100's of well-wishers and the local band playing in their driveway. This is how our country is different- we are a giving people. Several years ago missionaries to Scotland shared how few families there eat meals together. Perhaps if parents can't selflessly give of their time for meals together, the children learn also not to give. As you enjoy your Christmas dinner, remember the importance and joy of giving special meals every week to your family. Christmas blessings to you and those you love!

The Costs of Not Cooking are Escalating

A friend was shocked- one small, healthier dinner to go= $8.00( this from a "semi-fast-food" restaurant). Count on it- food costs will continue to rise! Why? People in the emerging nations are building roads, bridges and are getting money to buy more food than just 2 bowls of rice a day- more demand- higher costs. Then I read that Richmond may revive the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Center for Community of Caring to curb the costs associated with teen pregnancies. In the 1980's this program helped reduce teen pregnancies at one high school from 12 to 0. What do they help teach? Here's the list: citizenship education, parenting, ethical instruction, moral development, quality of life, and social values. Recent comments from teachers: "Ginny, high school kids today eat sandwiches- I don't think anybody knows how to plan and cook a balanced, hot meal anymore." "My worst students do not eat any meals together with their family- one does not eat and one orders pizza(this from 5th grade teacher)." What about "The Blind Side" wave? Get involved - help our families and schools understand the need and way to reduce financial and social costs now by reviving the family meal!